WELL NEWS: ‘The bad news is that he’s your doctor.’

There are thousands of exercises, and you've only got one body, but that doesn't mean you can't try them all. Here's a handful for people with osteoarthritis in their hands:

1. Make a fist. Start with your fingers straight and then slowly bend your hand into a fist. Make sure your thumb is on the outside of your hand. Don't squeeze too tightly. Then straighten again.

2. Bend your digits. Stretch your hand in front of you, palm up. Then take each finger and move it very slowly to the center of your palm. Hold it. Then straighten.

3. Thumb bends. Thumbs are often most problematic. Bend it toward your palm. Try to touch the pinkie, if possible. Repeat.

4. Finger lifts. With your palm flat on a table, fingers spread slightly, lift each one slowly off the table, then back down before raising the next.

5. Easy squeezes. Take a tennis ball or stress ball and squeeze gently and repeatedly.

Avoid repetitive actions such as typing on a computer for hours on end or texting with just your thumbs.

BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

■ Why can most people lift one eyebrow — right or left — or both at the same time, but very few can lift either the right or left eyebrow independently and to the same degree?

The nerves and muscles involved are not quite symmetrical, meaning that there are some things one side of your face can do better than the other.

■ When your eyes look right, your eardrums bulge to the left, and vice versa. And your eardrums move 10 milliseconds before your eyes do.

STAT!

■ Between 2011 and 2017, at least 259 people died while attempting to take a selfie in a dangerous location -- such as at the edge of a cliff or while feeding a wild animal — according to a new study published in the Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care.

■ The average bra size in the U.S. is 34DD, according to the most recent data available from retailers. That's up from the average 34B a couple of decades ago.

DOC TALK

Muscae volitantes: Sometimes, if you stare intently, you can see tiny spots or filaments drifting across your field of vision. These are bits of protein, cell fragments and other material passing through the eye's vitreous humour and over the retina. What you're actually seeing is the shadow they cast upon the retina or the refraction of light passing through them.

Most people call them "floaters." The Latin medical name means "flying flies."

Sternutate: To sneeze

SOB: Shortness of breath, not what the doctor really thinks of you

GOOD MEDICINE

Guy No. 1: "Last week, I got eczema, diarrhea, gonorrhea and hemorrhoids."

Guy No. 2: "My god. Why are you smiling?"

Guy No. 1: "It's the first time I've ever won a game of Scrabble."

BETTER MEDICINE

"Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments."

— Jay Leno, comedian

BEST MEDICINE

A painter got a call from the gallery showing his work. The gallery owner said, "I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist's death. I said yes, and he bought all 15 paintings.

"The bad news is that he's your doctor."

HYPOCHONDRIAC'S GUIDE

Boanthropy is a psychological disorder in which the sufferer believes he or she is a cow or ox and exhibits grazing behaviors, such as getting down on all fours to chew grass.

The most famous person believed to have suffered from boanthropy is Nebuchadnezzar, king of the Neo-Babylonian Empire from 605 B.C. to 562 B.C.

Syndicated science writer Scott LaFee's column of health-related humor appears occasionally in Style.

Style on 05/13/2019

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